Ask A Troll!
by Gamzee Meowkara
Summary: YOU may ask any troll any question, and they will be obliged to answer. This fan service shall go on until the reviewers stop reviewing. Rating may go up due to the filthy minds of fans.
1. WhAt To ExPeCt :o)

Meowkara: Hey bros! Welcome to 'Ask A Troll'. I'm Gamzee Meowkara and this is Terezi Purryrope.

Purryrope: Yeah yeah, enough greeting let's get to what the readers came for.

Meowkara: Oh right! heh heh! Okay, so here are the basic standards to expect in the next chapters.

1. Only some reviewers get their questions posted. Don't die if the trolls refuse your question.

2. This may kill some of your shippings. Don't die if we sink your ship.

3. This story will only progress if you comment.

4. Have fun and chug some faygo.

Purryrope: I'm pretty sure the fourth one is not nessasary. Some of these fools don't even know what Faygo tastes like.

Meowkara: *gasps* You gotta taste the mircales bros! You MUST.

Purryrope: Okay, cutting to the point. This chapter is just explanatory stuff since reviewer's havn't had a chance to chat yet. Choose you questions wisely!

Meowkara: Here's an example of what you can submit as a question:

Hey (troll's name).

(put question here)

Sincerely, (your name, optional)

Purryrope: They're not stupid. They got this. RIGHT?

Meowkara: Well i am not so sure they're smart if they havn't had Faygo.

Purryrope: Whatever whatever...just ask any troll...or even a human if you want! ASK ANYBODY.

Meowkara: Now... GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO! :O)


	2. H3H3! TH3R3 1T 1S!

Meowkara: Alright bros. Here's the questions i got so far.

Purryrope: WE got so far.

Meowkara: Right.

QUESTION ONE. karkat, Did it make you happy or disappointed that you came back to life? Sincerely, FireStorm8888

"Uh, i guess disapointed." Karkat shrugs. "See, i don't really care if i die...i just miss Terezi and wish i could be with her. I guess on the so called "bright side" i get to keep leading these directionally challenged losers."

"How sweet, bros!" Gamzee chuckles.

QESTION TWO. Gamzee! Why are you so awesome? Deranged Shadow Fangirl

"Me?" Gamzee smiles. "Aww you're so nice, bro. I wish i could see more people like you."

"GAMZEE." Terezi hisses. "The question needs an answer."

"Oh right!" Gamzee chuckles again. "Yeah, i guess it comes naturally? What really performs the miracles are my pies and faygo. Faygo just lightens the mood."

QUESTION THREE. Gamzee, Can I just say, my BFF has red feelings for you *Giggles fangirlishly and flies away into the sunset screaming ''YOU'LL THANK ME FOR THIS SOMEDAY''*

"i like you too devoted fan!" Gamzee hugs you warmly and kisses your cheek and honks.

QUESTION FOUR.

If you could say something to your ancestor, The Grand Highblood, what would you say to him?

Sincerely, GrimdarkPrincess

"we'll, I would slam down a cold drink with the guy." Gamzee nods. "Faygo is a good thing to have when talking to a grand high blood,"

QUESTION 5

Hi Eridan!

Do you like it when they struggle? *wink wink*  
Also, would you like a hug? I've been told that I give wonderful hugs. *hugs you* •w•

"W-Wow..." Eridan smiles widely as you hug him. "I...I dont know what to say!" Eridan giggles fan girlishly at the hug but snaps back to reality. "Oh I love it when they struggle. I'm looking at you Fef~!"

"Ew..!" Feferi sticks her tongue out.

QUESTION 6

Hey Gamzee!

I get...angry and I don't wanna hurt my friends. That **'s not cool, bro. Got any advice?

-Karis

"I hear you bro. Karbro had issues too! Just remain positive and keep a cool head!" Gamzee chuckles and sighs. "being mellow really helps out. Just slam a faygo and chill out!"

CHAPTER 6

Hello, Feferi.

Do you know how I can stop being so sad?

Sincerely, Tsumi

"Oh my!" Feferi gasps girlishly. "Like Gamzee said, being positive really helps! Just keep going, don't give up, and keep your fins above water!" Feferi gives a thumb up.

QUESTION 8

So karkat how do you feel about you and Terezi? ;) explain

"What?" Karkat looks up from a pester chum blog he was reading. "She's cool."

"yeah right." Gamzee chuckles. "So red bro. As red as the faygo in this bottle!"

"yeah whatever!" Karkat scoffs. "Alright alright I like her...a lot."

Gamzee raises his brows slightly and grins.

"Okay I'm flushed!" Karkat admits blushing madly.

Meowkara: okay guys. Here's the deal.

Purryrope: :?

Meowkara: you all know I am being shipped away to a camp for a week correct?

Purryrope: you are? :?

Meowkara: anyways bros. this was an unexpected weekend. On Friday apparently I was sleeping over at my morail's instead of a hang out session. We had so much faygo. We were hyper the whole time. and then apparently I was going to the lake for the rest of the weekend, away from wifi and such. Monsay i'll be packing and crap. And on tuesday i will be going to a camp for four days. anyways guys, this will be the only chapter for like: a week. So that means so adventure updates until Saturday.

Purryrope: we're not dead! Hehe! We've just got our plates full! I would update it by myself, but we promised to compromise together.

Meowkara: yeah. And my tiny human texting device isn't allowed at camp. Reception wouldn't work anyways. :o) bye for now bros! honk!


	3. READ THIS NOW! ):B

Meowkara: Hey guys! Thanks for all those questions. They're really good!

Purryrope: Stop kissing up and let the others answer their questions.

Meowkara: Alright bros. READ AND HAVE YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED!

Purryrope: Hehe! Don't get mad if we sink your ship! It could happen any time any where!

Meowkara: I've seen bros putting they don't own anything. I'll put that too.

Purryrope: I'M GONNA DO IT!

Meowkara: :o( *sad sniffle*

Purryrope: We don't own anything! Hussie owns it ALL!

Meowkara: Terezi. Bro. It's pretty obvious Hussie owns everything. He owns US.

Purryrope: Yeah :] I kinda dig it.

Meowkara: Moving on. Moving on.

QUESTION ONE Hey Gamzee What are you scared of the most? Sincerely, GrimdarkPrincess

"Oh uh..." Gamzee blinks and frowns. "I'm not afraid of much. What's really to be afraid of is myself. I know how i'm like when i'm sober and i just can't control myself. It hurts to watch myself do those horrible things." Gamzee says a little sadly. "I'm a monster."

QUESTION TWO Hey, Eridan! *gives you a BIG huggle* Deranged Shadow Fangirl

"Ehehehehe!" Eridan blushes madly and smiles at the hug.

QUESTION THREE Yo Dave,  
When you're alone do you just stop being cool and totally dork-out (is that even a word)? AND BE HONEST!  
-Obsessivefangirl03

Dave frowns a little when he hears the question. He turns around to leave but Terezi catches him by the shirt and turns him around a little too eagerly.

"Come on! It can't be that bad!" Terezi cackles.

"Alright, alright." Dave sighs. "Yes. i kind of do. It's to be completely ironic though. Only for ironic purposes."

"What do you do?" Terezi asks, suddenly interested.

"That wasn't part of the question." Dave says smoothly.

"Come on. Do it for the fans." Terezi sticks her tongue out between her sharp teeth and grins. "Do it for meeee~!"

"Okay, so when nobody's around i lock my doors and windows, shut the blinds, turn off the lights, put my headphones on, plug them in and watch stupid old school science fiction and fantasy nickelodeon shows like Bananaman, The Amanda Show, H20 and all that crap in silence and have an un-cool session." Dave admits.

Terezi stands there in disbelief. She smirks a little and begins to cackle.

"What? I gotta slack off some times!" Dave says getting frustrated.

Terezi starts cracking up and losing it. Dave leaves the room flustered and emberassed.

QUESTION FIVE Hey Gamzee! I just wanna say that I think you are really awesome and a motherfucking miracle! Sincerely MissShadowLover

"Oh wow!" Gamzee grins. "I have so many fans! Thank you bros! Same to you!" He bows.

QUESTION SIX Hey Sollux~ What's mind honey made of? -random gemeni fan-

"That'th clathified." Sollux pushes up his glasses and keeps a straight face.

QUESTION SEVEN 2.) Gamzee, if you could pick one person/troll to be on a deserted island with who would it be?

"Ooh bro!" Gamzee chuckles. "I would be with Karbro. Because he's my best bro. My best bro morail."

QUESTION EIGHT ) Nepeta, have you ever watched the Aristocats? If not you totally should you'd love it! It's all about cats.

Nepeta stares at the television screen in awe. "Meowricles..."

QUESTION NINE 3.) Karkat, can I give you a big hug?

"no!" Karkat turns his back.

"Do it..." Terezi smiles.

Terezi shoves Karkat into your arms. Karkat feels the hug and smiles a little.

"Karkat? Are you smiling?" Terezi asks.

Karkat remains quiet and smiles.

"I think you broke Karkles." Terezi frowns.

Meowkara: Alrighty Bros! Thanks for asking me so many things. It's making me blush like crazy man.

Purryrope: ASK ME SOMETHING ALREADY! Karkles even got a fan!

Meowkara: Does this bro need a shoosh pap?

Purryrope: YOU NEED A SHOOSH PAP.

Meowkara: Heh heh, okay bro. *pats self and smiles and closes eyes*

Purryrope: :?

Meowkara: Shhhh... *pats self*

Purryrope: Okay this is getting awkward. *closes link*


	4. A Special Inquiry

QUESTION ONE Hey TZ,

What is your favorite shade of red?

"Ooh that's tough." Terezi does a half grin as she ponders.

"Are there ANY colors that TZ likes besides Karkat's type of red?" Dave asks.

"I do like candy red." Terezi decides. "It's not bad tasting."

QUESTION TWO

Hello! I like this.

So I have one question.

Karkat: What is your favourite computer game?

"I haven't had good experiences with video games." Karkat huffs stubbornly.

"There's gotta be one!" John smiles widely. "Nobody hates video games,"

"Alright." Karkat fusses. "I like the game 'Amnesia'. Satisfied?"

"I am." John nods. "Amnesia isn't a bad game!"

QUESTION THREE OH I GOT A QUESTION!

Hey Eridan!

How do you feel about all these hugs you've been getting?

"W-Well it's very flattering!" Eridan blushes. "I w-wish that the trolls would be this nice!"

"You wish. But it won't happen." Kanaya counters.

"NYEH!" Eridan sticks his tongue between his sharp teeth.

QUESTION FOUR Nepeta: Have you seen "The Lion King?" Lions are basically big cats, in case you didn't know. If you do, sorry, my brain is tired. (Don't tell anyone, but I'm writing a version of "The Lion King," with Karkat as Simba, and you as Nala. You'll understand when you see it ;) ).

"Oh my!" Nepeta smiles sweetly and squeals. "I know that movie! Please make that fiction. I would adore it!"

"I would burn it." Karkat rolls his eyes.

"We're perfect for each other Karkitty! Don't deny it!" Nepeta squeals and hugs Karkat As he attempts to squirm away.

QUESTION FIVE Terezi: Besides red, what color tastes the best?

"I like purple." Terezi says with a wide grin. "It tastes like juggalos."

Meowkara: Bros. As Terezi's comment said, we have to repost this story.

Purryrope: Aparently we violated a few rules.

Meowkara: Yeah it'll be on our page still though!

Purryrope: Yeah just as before. We will copy and paste the old chapters' notes but edit them slightly so the rules won't get bent.

Meowkara: Alrighty bros! Say farewell to copy numero uno!

Purryrope: Was that spanish?

Meowkara: I dunno bro. John always says weird crap like that.

Purryrope: Anyways. I am sharing my idea with everyone including Gamzee right here in front of you.

Meowkara: Say what bro?

Purryrope: We can ask questions too~! Hehe I'm feeling left out.

Meowkara: So like an authors' note treat?

Purryrope: Yeah! :] Vote yes or no on that idea.

Meowkara: Yes= Let's do Terezi's idea. No= let's just continue the story in this style.

Purryrope: THE CLOCK IS TICKING HEHEHEHEHEHE


	5. Here'2 2ome More

Meowkara: honk!

Purryrope: hey guys! Hehe thanks for all those questions!

Meowkara: okay so here's the situation bros. most of you said YES to Terezi's question. So she shall start off a question for this chapter!

Purryrope: Hey Reviewers! Hehe! who are you flushed for the most in this series!? Everyone favors at least one character at one point.

Meowkara: very deep Terezi very deep! :o)

QUESTION ONE Tavros, will you be my moiral? Love neverDEAD

"O-oh sure!" Tavros blushes and smiles timidly. "I'd love to fill my quadrant, with you! But hey, Gamzee is kind of my bro. How about uh, matesprite? Vriska won't stop bothering me about it and I need an excuse! Plus you're uh, kinda adorable!"

QUESTION TWO Hi Terezi

What's you fafurite colour other than Red ?

"Like chapter three said," Terezi cackles. "I like purple too! It tastes like juggalos and insanity!"

QUESTION THREE

Hello Nepeta !

I really love roleplaying

Could you purrhaps give me some tips on a nice RP session ?

"Ooh that's a toughie!" Nepeta hums and smiles. "Just don't break character and you'll be purrfect! If you're unsure of your role playing quality, research your character more and how they react and speak! Bring up interesting conflicts and issues the character might face!"

QUESTION FOUR

Hi Nepeta

Please tell me why you are so adorable !

*hugs you*

( O w O )

"Oh my!" Nepeta's tail flickers i delight at the random hug. "I am adorable because I was just born that way!"

QUESTION FIVE

GAMZEE! Have you ever taken a HUGE swig of Faygo and then saw something so funny that your burst out laughing and it looked like you were foaming at the mouth?

"I have not bro!" Gamzee gasps. "But once Karbro was drinking some with me, and saw Eridan get rejected and beat up by Sollux. Karbro started cackling and choking and foaming at the mouth."

"It w-wasn't funny!" Eridan humphs.

"Bro. After Sollux beat you up Feferi and Aradia joined in. His girl friends even beat you." Gamzee chuckles.

QUESTION SIX

Terezi, do you think that CANDY RED is a sexy color? I know I do! *evil smirk*

"Defiantly!" Terezi cackles and glances as Karkat.

QUESTION SEVEN

Vriska, can you please wander around with a bucket on your head? X3

"I hate fans." Vriska mumbles under a bucket.

QUESTION EIGHT

And finally, for all of you, have you ever met your ancestors? What about your dancestors? If so, what do ya think of them?

(Holy gog I saw a person with a Nepeta T-shirt today! I got a picture of him! I feel awesome!)

"I don't really think we've properly met all the ancestors!" Feferi gasps.

"What about the dancestors?" John asked.

"Annoying as crap." Karkat glares as Kankri as he babbles on.

"Damara is what the humans refer to as "alright"." Aradia says blankly as her dancestor rolls her eyes.

"He's!" Tavros smiles widely. "Uh, awesome!" Rufioh smiles in approval beside him.

"He'th annoying. I think Mituna hath brain damage." Sollux frowns at Mituna as he cackles and has a speech fit of slurred words.

"I love my dancestor!" Nepeta purrs and hugs Meulin. "She's so good at shipping! We need to make a ship play date, Meulin!"

"She's intimidating." Kanaya shakes a little as she watches her dancestor files her nails. "But I respect we style."

"She's rad!" Terezi and Latula do a thumbs up and smile.

"Aranea hasn't done ANYTHING cool." Vriska complains.

"He does seem to be quite happy, I wish I could be." Equius looks at Horrus as he smiles continuously.

"Aww yeah bro!" Gamzee grins and nods at Kurloz. "He's silent but he's definitely got the Makara charm."

"Cronus so childish!" Eridan manages to say in the middle of a slap fight with Cronus.

"Meenah could be nicer," Feferi frowns. "But she's pretty!"

QUESTION NINE

Hey tavros,

Will you be my moirail? Pleeeease u

"But I was uh, hoping to make Gamzee my morail!" Tavros stammers. "Possibly if he rejects me?"

"Bro. Karbro is my morail." Gamzee says a little sadly.

"Oh," Tavros frowns. "Morailance accepted!"

QUESTION TEN

Karkat

What's you favourite romcom ?

"One of my all time favorites," Karkat begins. "Is the main protagonist sits idly by until one day he finds himself head over heels in love with his kismesis' matesprite, but it turns out that his own morail is the main antagonist that is soon made his wing man that hopes to occupy the kismesis while he makes a shot for his crush." Karkat says.

"How come your movie titles are so long?" John frowns.

"We run out of names, alright?" Karkat retorts.

QUESTION ELEVEN

Nepeta

Besides your OTP which ship do you like best ?

"I looooove Rose and Dave! They're so cuuuuute!" Nepeta squeals.

QUESTION TWELVE

Terezi

What is your most biggest embarassment ?

And

Yes follow the blind girl of awesomeness

;]

"The most embarrassing moment?" Terezi frowns and raises a brow.

"I know it." Dave smirks.

"Don't you DARE tell them!" Terezi hisses.

Dave opens his mouth but Terezi shoves her hand over his face. Dave and Terezi battle and soon enough Dave is sitting on his friend's back. Terezi was stomach flat on the floor as Dave sat on her triumphantly.

"Anyways," Dave pushes up his shades coolly. "One time TZ and I-"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Terezi interrupted pounding her fists on the floor.

Dave smacks a hand over Terezi's mouth with a free hand and continues.

"So one time we were hanging out and Eridan came over for some strange reason i cant remember. I avoided him for a few moments by lying and saying I needed to use the bath room. Eridan left the room to go snoop or some crap. The electricity went out because of a thunder storm and eventually I came out to fix that electricity problem and only that. Terezi was sitting on the couch as I was by the motor fixing stuff with Bro. Eridan came in and sat by TZ. She assumed it was me and began to chatter and flirt. Eventually when Bro and I fixed the lights, I ventured in turned on the lights. Amazingly and i mean truly amazingly, by then Terezi was making out with Eridan. Terezi found out she wasn't passionately kissing me, but fish boy. And the funniest part is, Terezi liked the fishy kiss."

"YOU VOWED TO NOT TELL ANYONE!" Terezi yelled through Dave's hand.

"The fans asked. I must respect the fans. Yours and mine both." Dave smiled.

"AGGHHHRRRDDFFFF!" Terezi screamed in frustration into her hands.

QUESTION THIRTEEN

Hey Eridan

Here's another hug! *Hugs Eridan*

"Okay there are too many hugs!"

Eridan starts to get nervous with everyone hugging him and does an eye twitch.

"S-Sol? Help me!" Eridan shrieks and Sollux runs away when he sees who was calling him.

Eridan squirms as all the fans hug him. "Hurry, hug Sol! He needs loving too, see? His girl friend died again! PLEASE, GO HUG SOMEONE ELSE!"

QUESTION FOURTEEN

Also, Sollux

What exactly is the status of your quadrants?

"Um. Well here'th the thing." Sollux says a little sheepishly. "I lotht track."

"Pimp." Aradia says with a tiny smile.

"You know it." Sollux says with a "like a huss" smirk.

Meowkara: alright bro. Thanks for every request and note! I love this little blog.

Purryrope: hehe yeah!

Meowkara: reviewer's question repeat: WHO ARE YOU FLUSHED FOR IN THE HOMESTUCK SERIES?!


	6. Watc)( Yourself!

Meowkara: guys seriously we can only accept questions through our pm box now. This story will be deleted if not.

Purryrope: the website is at our necks right now so please just send a message through our pm box.

QUESTION ONE Terezi, I am blind also. My sis is typing this. Can you teach me how to smell and taste colors? Please :3

"Hehehe!" Terezi cackles madly. "You're so cute! It's natural honestly. But if you want to learn, you must grab a friend to help you out. Make sure this friend is reliable, ok? Ok. Now your friend must take you to Alternia, and make you stare at the sun. That's how I got my abilities."

"Terezi. I'm pretty sure that they can't fly themselves to Alternia." Karkat retorts.

Meowkara: you only get ONE question because I am being tough. Seriously we can only accept messages through our pm box now. :(


	7. the laaaaaaaast one! :::)

Dear Gamzee,

What do you think of your dancestor, Kurloz. Also, do you know the human comedians, Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele? If you do, what is your favorite sketch of theirs? Also, if you like them, what do you think of their new ad campaign about watching on comedy central, a human laughter generating television channel.

Sincerely,

wrathofnerds

Dear kurloz,

What do you think of your dancestor, and him raising your messiah?

Sincerely,

wrathofnerds

Ps have a cookie!

"Well," Gamzee pauses. "Kurloz seems very chill for a bro who's been through all he has. I respect a bro like that."

Kurloz smiles at him in response with a small nod.

"I wish...I could...be that romantic." Gamzee uttered.

Kurloz points to the remainder of the note before doing sign language. Gamzee doesn't understand the hands but gets the message about the note.

"Oh! Oh okay, brother." He turns on the computer and goes to YouTube.

Gamzee smiles at the YouTube screen as he watches the comedians. He chuckles and enjoys himself as Kurloz sits next to him unable to open his mouth to laugh. He merely smiles.

"I like these guys and their channel...it does 'generate laughter'." Gamzee quotes and chuckles.

Suddenly, the fan hands Gamzee and Kurloz a cookie. Gamzee gasps at it.

"Bro...look at this." Gamzee smiles and whispers. "It's chocolate chip."

Kurloz frowns, unable to eat it. Gamzee hums before leaving the room briefly. He comes back in with a cup, a straw and a blender.

"It'll taste the same," Gamzee suggests with a honk.

* * *

After blending the cookie ad putting it into a up with a straw and letting Kurloz enjoy his drink, Gamzee reads the next question.

"Oh, it's for you." Gamzee says with a grin.

Kurloz finishes his cookie drink and read it. He writes down his words.

'I like my dancestor. Gamzee is not who everyone says, he's like me in most ways. We both struggle but in the end we're both brothers looking for something to enjoy. It's pretty interesting who he is raising, though. I'm sure he's as great as parent as a friend.'

"I'm not sure if that last line is an insult or a compliment." Gamzee chuckles.


End file.
